As we near almost a full 12 months of lockdowns and quarantines, remote working, and remote school, parents have been pushed to the limit. 
So nod your head, chug your cocktail, or just close your tired eyes if you’ve done any of the following during this crazy quarantine: 

Never have I ever…

  • Bent some of the rules I was pretty adamant about pre-COVID.
  • Given up on any kind of screen time limitations (childrens’ programming is so educational these days anyway, right?). 
  • Subconsciously found myself singing lines from my kids' favorite movies or TV shows, verbatim and with unbridled joy (“So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper, so he’s got a few flaws…”).    
  • Ordered pizza three nights a week because it’s relatively inexpensive and can feed the whole family (tomato sauce counts as a vegetable, right?).
  • Ate the remainder of my kids’ plate for dinner, while standing and talking on a conference call. 
  • Physically cringed when my kids called out “mom” (or “dad”).  
  •  Had no idea if my kids brushed their teeth (and didn’t really care). 
  • Had my kid run naked through a conference call. 
  • Had my kid puke during a conference call. 
  • Faked an “important” Zoom meeting just to get a little alone time. 
  • Seen my child have an imaginary Zoom chat.
  • Contemplated paying one child to 'babysit' the other child, which would involve literally taking the younger one into another room.
  • Tried to “micro nap,” like Charlize Theron’s character in Long Shot (Spoiler alert: It doesn’t work).    
  • Watched Netflix for so long that I’ve gotten the ‘Are you Still Watching?’ message more than once. 
  • Realized that the only time I’ve left the house in days was to take out the garbage. 
  • Bought a ton more toys than usual ($20 for a potential 20 minutes of peace? Yep, totally worth it.) 
  • Gone a year without wearing heels (but somehow my feet look worse than ever). 
  • Gone a year without makeup (and suddenly have pimples again). 
  • Decided that even the Work-From-Home Mullet (business on top, sweats on the bottom) is too much effort. It’s now, dark sweatshirt on top, PJs on the bottom.   
  • Set Zoom status to “no video” unless absolutely necessary. 
  • Got too excited for a new pair of sweatpants to arrive in the mail. 
  • Ordered "the usual" from my local wine shop in four clicks while on a Zoom meeting — and no one noticed. 
On that note, a big cheers to all the Cheddar Moms who helped compile this list. 
Now I’m officially drunk!
Play Never Have I Ever: Parenting Edition with Jill on TikTok!