Lindsey Metselaar, dating expert, matchmaker, and host of "We Met At Acme," a podcast that gives advice to Millennials on all things dating, joined Cheddar News to share her take on the dos and don'ts of modern romance — and to help a Cheddar video editor with her own app profile.

Cheddar's News Wrap

'We Met At Acme' Host Lindsey Metselaar on 'The Rules' of Dating

Welcome back to Cheddars news wrap. Today is monday May 16th 2022. I'm gonna do by new york city, thank you so much for joining us it is time for dating with cheddar. We know over the past two years, many lost the interest and motivation to go out and date well with some around the corner and the world up and running again thankfully it's time to come out of hibernation. People, people may be ready to date again, but do they remember how to here with us today to help us navigate the new world of dating is Lindsay matt stoller, dating expert, matchmaker and host of we met at Acme podcast Lindsay, you and I were talking off camera. I do think it's very hard to date these days. You share a long list of traditional dating rules with your followers. Tell us about these rules and why you think they're so important. Yes, so there's a few rules, we'll go over the basics, basically, No more than two drinks on a first date fair, that makes sense. Don't like go home with them too early. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but it's more fun to you know, Wait and let the let the tension build. Sure. Um don't text. Thank you after the first date if you're the woman I know. Okay, that's new. Don't thank you. Wait for them to contact you, wait for them to contact you first. You thank them on the date. Sure. Um and then don't over initiate if you're you know and the woman in a Hetero situation, let the man pursue you. And I would say you know once you're in the dating we have the dates going a little bit. Don't ask what are we, what is it? Yeah. I think that's the word, don't ask what we are for. Don't accept a day date. What does that mean? Yes. So don't accept a date the day of. Oh sure because you're busy. Yeah and like and you don't even have to fake it, you should be busy like three days out maximum or minimum. Rather don't drop everything for that phone call for that day, definitely. Let's talk about the pandemic. I'm sure it's changed the way dating is any rules that have changed and some rules that maybe have it because of the pandemic. I actually feel like everyone who wanted to be single before the pandemic still wants to be single interest and everyone who wanted a relationship is still looking for that relationship. But what has changed is that every single person relationship or not is on wanting relationship or not is on the dating apps. Yeah everyone because like that's really the only way to meet people if you're not leaving your house as much as you were before. So one of the most common dating struggles that you hear about from a lot of people that are trying to get back out there after the pandemic. I would say the biggest one is that people are not getting matches on the dating apps. That's number one. The dates aren't going from talking on the app and to actually meeting in person. Um They're not getting a follow up after a first date. They're just going on first dates, but not 2nd and 3rd. and I would say the the other struggle is that they're not getting the person they're actually consistently dating to define the relationship and looking at these graphics that our team made. This is brilliant, by the way. So, you're also a matchmaker Lindsay. What's lying to people look out for when they found that great match. And do you believe that's even possible to find that perfect match so early on, I think that we have multiple perfect matches. I don't even know if perfect is the word. I would say. We have multiple ones instead of the one. That way, if you know, God forbid something happens to your significant other, you can find another person you can make it work with or you get a divorce and meet someone else. So yeah, you have multiple opportunities to meet the one. But you know that you've met the one if you have shared values. If you're of course, you know, physically attracted to one another. If they challenge you to make you a better person and all that stuff, This has happened to some friends. So I'm asking for them, what happens if you get ghosted? Oh, you don't say a word. I know, I know people want to scream back at the person that goes to them but they're not worth your energy and that just gives them the satisfaction. Yes, I couldn't agree more. Ok, so we want to see your tips in action. So we gave one of our cheddar employees a dating profile makeover. Let's take a look lindsey. We'll talk on the other side. I I personally love a coffee date as the first date. You know you're squeezing the date in to fit your schedule or have you been on a coffee date before? No, I honestly don't go on dates that much. Are you ready on the dating apps? So I have the apps. I never use them. All right, well let's check it out. It's the first photo is a group photo. How am I supposed to know which one to do? They're also all wand. It's good to have at least one friend photo, but you don't need more than that. Okay, The first prompt says we'll get along if you love dogs who doesn't love dogs. I feel like you're saying that you'll get along with anyone and like you want to be a little bit more specific so that they have something to respond to and but I ordered for the table. You wrote chips and guac generic. So basic. What about, you know the best spot in town for? Yeah, trivia night. So should I be responding to them or should I be waiting for them to say something to me? You can initiate the conversations, but then you want them to be the one to actually ask for your number or ask you on the date itself. I like to just say enough funny witty things that they're like, oh, I need to take this girl out, I need to see her in person and then obviously there's the occasional guy that needs a nudge so you have to follow your intuition on that. So go on those dates and let me know how it goes. We'll see you got this a lot of interesting advice. But guess what? Erica's with us here today to tell us how lindsey's advice has been working out Erica. All right. First. What did you think about the advice? I love the one about not posting group pictures with your friends. I think that's really good advice. Have you noticed any changes in your dating life after meeting Lindsay? I think the biggest thing was that realizing I don't owe anyone anything um in the beginning and you have all these high expectations and I think that you have to fit, you know, you just fit them into your life and you go on a first date. Make it fit into your schedule. Don't go too far out of your way because that's how you keep your expectations low. You don't give them all of that power to, you know influence how you feel right away? If things don't go well. Did you realize you were making mistakes dating before you met Lindsay and Lindsay's like, no, no, don't do that. Um when we started looking at my online dating app profiles, I hadn't really used them much. So it was more just a fresh start which really, really helped um give me that base to kind of go off of, which was super helpful, Lindsay. I have to ask, what are the biggest mistakes you keep seeing? There are so many mistakes on dating apps, specifically the overuse of group photos. The over edited photos. Selfies, gym selfies, gym selfies. No, okay, but I see so many of them and when I was single, I remember seeing a lot of gym selfies. What should people definitely do? I know Erica gave us some tips that you learn from you. Yeah, I think you just need to have a variety of photos on your profile, make it playful, give them something to respond to and as Erica said, you're fitting them into your life, not the other way around. They should be trying out to be yours and you don't need to do anything to try out to be them because you're the prize. You are the prize ERic, Thank you. How's the dating going so far, is it to you soon? I know we just got these two. No, no, I actually went on a date last week and same thing fitted into my life. I was very busy. I, you know, went about what we talked about and it went really well. All right, we'll see what happens, maybe a second date, maybe we we talked about what to change on a second date, so now we'll implement those, but that might be another reason to come back on. I want to discuss that second date, ladies, thank you so much, Lindsey Metzler, dating expert, matchmaker and host of the we met at Acme podcast. Check out the podcast for more life changing dating tips, Erica. Good luck! I want to be posted on this.